gbkoolio's Blog

Dark Coma

A piercing stare

As cold tears abound

A blackened abyss

Wrought with despair


It projects in her mind

From beginning to end

Her story of loss

She needed a friend


All feelings have faded

Her skin has turned pale

Shattered and bleeding

Heart broken and frail


Shivering in the fog

She peers through the rooms

The eyes of the broken

Speak to her gloom


As memories feast

She cries in her hole

Rendered cursed and inhuman

Torn apart from the soul


Deathly and lifeless

Drones force feed the dope

Slowly numbing and raping

Executing all hope


She longs for her lover

As time grinds to a halt

The pain of not knowing

It is forever her fault


She cries for the victims

Casualties of this war

Tragedies fill their hearts

They can be damaged no more


She weeps in her prison

While praying for death

Fetal and silent

She curses each breath


Darkness devouring

She suppresses her screams

The death angel arrives

As she succumbs to her dreams


Leaving her body

All suffering deceased

Scars healed forever

She enters the peace

Almost

She's like the morning sunrise

Her warm presence surrounds me

Casting light to kill the darkness

Lifting my cold eyes so I can see


She's like the waters by the brook

Cool and still and full of life

Gently flowing through my veins

Calming limerence ends my strife


She's like the endless sea of stars

A canvas never painted

Her ambivalent eyes steal my heart

Flawless beauty never tainted


She's like sweet nostalgia

Her presence felt so far away

Her precious love heals my emptiness

Her hypnotic gaze saves my day


She's like a melancholy ballad

Sad and true with lingering love

Her kindness unconditional

Her pain unjust like a crippled dove


Pure innocence everlasting

She is all that is sweet

A broken angel lost in life

Will we ever meet?


I am nothing without her

She is all that I wanted

My lonely sorrow takes my dreams

I am forever haunted


This madness won't last forever

I will find her in time

We will be one in our embrace

She will finally be mine

 The Fall

As I peer into the unknown

Raping memories still haunting

My demons are growling

What am I wanting?



Cold flouresence is looming

The darkness sets in

My spirit is trembling

I am martyred within


I cannot be living

For my blood has run cold

My mind has been stricken

My soul has been sold


The wounds will not heal

The scars will not fade

My existance is trivial

My grave has been laid


I tear through my flesh

I want to gouge out my eyes

Your face is pure filth

You speak nothing but lies


Peering into the mirror

My reflection is shattered

My breathing is slowing

These dead hopes never mattered


My pain has no end

This sorrow I've carried

My perception is paralyzed

This inner death I have married


My torment consumes me

As I abandon my will

Dark waters beneath me

The earth becomes still


Lifeless cold pierces through me

Certain death whispers grace

I am drowned by nastalgia

I cannot feel my face


Empty sounds flood my ears

As I look to the sky

The shallow beats of my heart

Say their final goodbye


All hope is gone

I have nothing to gain

Apathy is my mistress

I will not take this pain


As I fall from the edge

My broken wings feel the wind

No more illusions of progress

This is my end

When I get so low and to the point where I have to write a blog about it instead of talking with someone, I feel pretty stupid.

I just can't believe I'm completely alone right now. I have absolutely no one. People who I thought cared, don't. Everyone has disappeared. Why can't I? I grind to such a halt in my existence that I go online and read posts I made in the past. It's just really pathetic. Pitiful.

Why did God have to take away my soul mate? My best friend? I took her for granted so much. I love her so much. I miss her so much. I need her more than anyone and she's gone. I want to go be with my baby....

I swear I fucking hate myself, man. And I guess everyone else does too.